DESIRE

This morning as I sit reading I find myself, once again, in a familiar place. It's not a place that I enjoy. Daily as I do spiritual reading a longing rises up inside me. It's a desire I sometimes fear will never be fulfilled again. This hunger makes me sad. I suppose I could think of more eloquent, descriptive language for this feeling but I think the simplicity of "sad" says it all.

Then, it's like I begin to fold within; fold upon myself. Is that really God in there? Is that where I find him? Peace immediately comes. I seem to hear, "Here I am".

I'm aware that I look for God all around me. Trying to find a people, a place where this loneliness, this hunger will be fed. For now, for this time, I need to look deep within my soul and see The Wonder. It has to be enough for now. After all, it is all I have in this moment.

The question, then, is can it be enough? Can I live in that inner-ness? In all honesty it's not what I want but it is what I have.