Walking the beach at Cayucos, this awareness comes creeping up slowly. I don't even recognize it's arrival. As I try to identify it; I guess at it's meaning. While standing by the waves as they endlessly, tirelessly continue to come, I feel how small and insignificant I have become.
Is there really not to be anymore to my life than it is right now? Was my life at some point purposeful and directional? Or do I just remember it that way?I suddenly feel as though I have been born to a new life; one vaguely connected to my previous one. As I think about this it is as though I have been dropped into this place with a directive - "so, go...live!"
If ----big question here---this is my path, how do I learn to walk it with joy and satisfaction? How do I discover the possibility of more? How do I let that possibility go?
2 comments:
Cathy,
I was just looking for something new here this morning. Funny how that works. I have a couple of thoughts, but will wait until I get home to post.
I have felt this so much over the past several years. Is this what it’s all about? Really? But I feel so much more inside. An unexplainable anticipation of I don’t know what. My spirit reverberates at times... my spirit recognizes something and it reverberates within me as if to say “pay attention here! There’s something hidden in the landscape... Something new! Something different!...A treasure hidden in a field. Find it!” Kind of like I’m hearing... “Go now!...Live!”
But I can never seem to find all the pieces to understand enough to make it happen and it gets buried once again below the surface.
Saturday I listened to Arthur Burke talk about “unpacking” the things in our spirit that God placed there sooo long ago. I reverberated inside as I listened. I knew I could not unpack by myself...I would need help. Others will help uncover (unpack) the hidden treasures. There was a key in what he was saying.
Something is dying. It’s the old model with a new one rising up. Here’s an OT example... Moses, the servant of God has died. Now Joshua is commanded to rise up and bring God’s children into the promised land. It took forty years for that to happen. Forty years of ups and downs and a nagging sense that there has to be more to this promised land than just hearing about it and the faded taste of ancient grapes!
I think we are about to cross over a river into a promised land. Our old model is dying. (We see and hear about it all around us) A new paradigm is forming that says “Go now!...Live!” You are a part of that new paradigm.... And my spirit vibrates once again.
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