Last night laying in bed I started a new book by Robert Benson titled "That We May Perfectly Love Thee". In reading about preparing my heart for Eucharist I began to connect it to Advent. This Saturday night as a few of us gather together in the home of a friend to celebrate the 3rd week of Advent, I will come with an empty heart. Does that sound bad? It's not.
Only if I come to the table empty can I be filled. If through Advent I am still waiting for the mystery to come I must be empty. I want my heart to be filled by Christ. It may not be what I am expecting. It may not be what I think it should be. It may not fill the particular void I want filled. But, I give my empty heart to Christ to fill it any way he wishes.
You have to work at being empty. It's too easy to be "full". Full of knowledge, full of certainty, full of work, full of time, full of success, full of failure. All kinds of things rush in to fill our hearts. As I write this I picture my heart with a plug at the bottom like old-time bathtubs. I think I should pull this plug quite often and empty out what is there so Christ can fill it again.
Even as I write this I feel the anticipation rising for Saturday night. And I will consider what I receive filling every part of my heart. Then, next week, I can pull the plug again and come to the Advent table with the same anticipation and expectation.
2 comments:
What a wonderful mental image of needing to be empty so that we might be filled. Advent is such an adventure. I keep finding that I have such a long way to go as I am so filled up with "me." Advent is one of the seasons where we can find ways to wait for Him and empty ourselves in the process. Ain't easy, but it feels right.
Missing you all at COTA this Advent!
from Karen Ward
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