THE STORY OR THE ENDING???

I recently read Stephen King's "Under the Dome".  Our son is a big fan of King's.  In fact, a few years ago he took me to hear Stephen King lecture for my birthday at the Benaroya Hall when we were all living in Seattle.  I have come to love his writing.

I think I have figured out something about King.  It will be interesting to see if our son agrees.  As I read the last page of the book, I thought, "That's it?  That's the end?"  But, rather than true disappointment, I smiled at how much I enjoyed the story.  That's when it hit me.  Most of King's books seems to be like this; kind of anti climatic endings.  I then realized (hopefully, accurately) that for King it is about the story, not the ending.

My mind then made this eye-opening leap.  Perhaps this is what life should be.  We put so much effort on the end: graduating from high school, getting a degree, getting another degree, getting the right job, marrying the right person.  And, in evangelical theology, ending up in the right place.

What if the joy, the purpose of life is to enjoy the story?  Rather than making all decisions to insure we get to the right place; what if we make each daily decision based on how it effects our story and the story of those we come in contact with?

One of the outcomes of discovering King's method is that the next one of his books I read I will read with sheer enjoyment of each page instead of hurrying to see how it ends.  I want to live my life like that; to learn to enjoy each moment.  If I live like this, investing in the world moment by moment I won't have to worry about the end. 

FREEDOM FROM SIN

The issue of sin.                                                                 

You can't ignore this word during Passion Week. 
Sin is one among many terms I have wrestled with these last several years.  What is it really?  A list of don'ts?  Something I am born with?  A thing I do?  An attitude I have?
This morning I am considering this:  sin is all about how we treat each other.  "Each Other".  That is like saying "who is my neighbor"?  Usually when I hear the phrase "each other", I think of those in my family, my friends, those I choose to have relationship with.  But, in fitting with the true message of the Christ, "each other" is all of God's creation.  Every person, even those I don't have a personal contact with, is my "each other".  This means taking stands for injustice.  This means the people of the world, right now, who are going through upheaval and tragedy.  This means the myriad of children in the world who are not being loved by those who should be their greatest lovers.  These are those I work with, those that live on my street, those I see living on the street, those collecting cans and bottles, those waiting in line in front of me.
Sin is when I either do something that harms or ignore harm.  If I look at the "10" commandments (for there are really only two and yet they are endless), I see they all have to do with making the world, my culture, my society, my place in the world, a place of honoring every one; of caring for everyone; of making decisions and my reactions things that place others equal or above myself.
God promises us freedom.  This indeed would be freedom: a world where we walk in peace and harmony and well-being.

I want to think about this during this Holy Week.  Passion entails not only the sorrow of suffering and death but love.

ROOM

It's interesting and
at the same time
curious that even though
I know a thing to
be true there is
still room for doubts
and questions
and even other ways.
     
                            Me

THE QUESTIONS KEEP COMING

"This is so much to absorb.  My head hurts from thinking so hard.  Do you know how much thinking you have to do in order to question?  Then you have to ask all the right questions.  Then you have to reach your own conclusion.  And then you have to take action.  It's HUGE!"

This quote is from my current reading "The Faith Club".  When I pulled this book from the library shelf I was drawn to it because of my curiosity.  How would these three women develop a friendship when they came from such different places religiously/politically?  In many areas it is difficult to seperate those two things.  We use religion to justify our politics and we use our politics to support our religion.

This quote is the exact expression of what goes on in my head and my heart.  I am continually surprised that almost any book I read (not counting many "just for fun" novels - although some of them can be surprising too), becomes a small part of my spiritual journey.  I certainly didn't expect that from this book.

If you have read my blog for a while you know that one of the recurring subjects is my sadness at the state of violence in our city, community, nation and world.  Here is a short, completely incomplete list of the peoples who have been violated because of religious/political hatred and sometimes war:

Native Americans                                                          Jews
Japan                                                                             Vietnamese
Palestinians                                                                    Armenians
Russians                                                                          Tibetans
Mexicans

Please add to this list in the comment section.  As I am writing this I feel I am making my own personal memorial to all those injured, killed, displaced.  My heart is again so full of the pain of others that it is flowing down my cheeks.  May I ask that you take a moment of silence to join your heart with mine to becoming more sensitive to these injustices.

THE QUESTIONS OF FRIENDSHIP

My husband is my best friend. We said many times while living in Seattle that it was a good thing we really liked each other because we spent so much time together. And, we really did enjoy it.


But, today, I want to ask questions about friendship. If you want to answer them, to share your own experiences or to add to the questions; please do.

1- Is friendship really necessary to happiness?

2- Should friendship come by “accident” or by an intentional searching?

3- Where would you go or what would you do to make new friends?

4- Do you have friends who are very different than you?

5- Should you have friends who are very different than you? (I’m referring to religion, ethnicity, age, political biases)

6- Can you have strong disagreements with your friends and it not affect your relationship?

7- Do you wish you could have those kinds of discussions with them?

8- What place in your life do your friends take; how much time should you spend with a friend; what kind of things do you do together; is your significant other included?

9- Is true friendship a dream or a reality?



I’m reading a book right now that has triggered all these questions. I think they are legitimate questions. I also think our lifestyles easily prevent us from developing these kinds of friendships. These are just my musings and wonderings today. I started to say I’m not really looking for answers but I don’t think that’s true.

CONFESSIONAL

This is sort of a confessional. I don’t know if I need absolution, probably not. But maybe others can identify with this place I am.


I have so many “good” ideas within myself; I might even consider them inspired. “Wouldn’t this be great?” “Couldn’t that be helpful?” And yet, I find myself, I don’t know, maybe paralyzed is the best word. I just can’t seem to bring myself to do any of them.

The most common question I ask is, “Why?” What is it that keeps me from moving forward with any of this? What is at the bottom of this lack of initiative? Maybe fear? Fear of failure? Fear that these things that I consider wonderful, important, valuable will not be viewed by anyone else with the same feeling?

My dear husband has suggested that, maybe, since we have been through so many changes in the last couple of years, we are just needing to have things be constant for a while.. I can see that, but to be honest, when then, will these dreams, these ideas have time to be realized? You do reach a place in life, a stage, if you will, where you can begin to see the end of your life. If I truly want to see some of these ideas happen, how long do I wait to try them?

Some of this probably seems like rambling….and maybe it is. But we don’t always understand how confession cleanses the heart and soul; so I am here, just doing it.

PASSING THE PEACE (and accepting it)

I have become aware of an ache in my heart. It is for peace. I, personally, am not going through a time of great turmoil and trauma and hurt. That is not the place I am yearning for peace.

It is the peace of the earth I long for. The hatred sewn by others as well as that created in us because of our own history; the violence done throughout the world; the dishonoring of each other; the disrespect of a culture other than my own. It is all so heart wounding.

If we keep moving fast enough, if we keep being busy and disengaged from the world, can we block it out? Can we just do a tsk, tsk during the evening news? I hope not. How can we stop it?

I don’t presume to have the answer. But here are a couple of fanciful thoughts. Maybe they would help:

1-Perhaps “passing the peace” as we meet people throughout our days. No really, what would happen if instead of “hi” we spoke “peace”. Ok, some of you are just thinking that this old hippie has gone round the bend, but maybe it would affect not only others but ourselves.

2-Don’t listen to any prejudice, hatred, judgment or condemnation from others including the media.

3-Begin to read literature that sows love and peace and trust and value for others. Can we re-wash our brains to become instruments that honor and esteem one another?

Not only does humankind need this peace but the earth itself. Sometimes I think it also aches for those who are to be its stewards to sow love and peace not just on each other but on it.

This is a type of spirituality that I long for. Spirituality is the way we live out our lives. No matter where on the spectrum of believing in a transcendent mystery you are, this is a spirituality we can reach for and live.

So, enough………PEACE TO YOU.

WRITING WITH FEAR

Fear?


A few months ago a friend sent me an article about blog writing. I finally got around to reading it. It’s one of those things I read and think, “I needed to hear this.”

“Probloggers such as Daniel aren’t afraid to let their true selves out. They embrace the fear of writing something that people might disagree with. They put themselves in uncomfortable positions because they want to stand out from the crowd.

Many of you hold back from saying what is truly in your heart. You’re afraid of the reaction that might occur. This is completely understandable, but the only way you will break through and create a blog that people keep coming back to is to create something that people can’t get anywhere else.

You have to create connections with people that allow for deep connections.” (Karl Staib-Daily Blog Tips)

This article made me aware that one of the reasons I haven’t been blogging much is this very thing. Before we made this last move from one city to another, I seem to have no fear about what I wrote. Not that I would be offensive to anyone, but just willing to speak what was in my heart, my mind; where my emotions and challenges were.

I don’t know what there is about being back in this place where I come from that makes me more concerned about what I express. On New Year’s Day one of my daughters asked me what my goals were for 2011. Not being a person who really thinks that way, I was actually very grateful for her question. It became a needed challenge for me. I did respond rather quickly with a couple of things but I now add this to my list:

I want to write freely, without fear, without concern of judgment, with a willingness to be open, vulnerable and transparent.

Crossing the Threshold

For the last couple of months I continue to ask myself the same question:

     What difference does "knowing" God make when I walk out the door each day?

What about my life reflects a spirituality of love and peace?  I'm not talking about going out and witnessing.  I'm talking about leaving some kind of touch of mystery on everyone I meet.  Is this an impossible dream?  Maybe.  But, surely, there has to be some kind of trail (think vapor trail) left where I travel. 

Awareness of God in my life can't be just about me.  As nice as it is to sit each morning in my "cell" and read, think, pray; my world must feel the presence of this great, holy one. 

Especially with the events of last Saturday in Arizona, peace, honor and love must somehow come to the forefront.  How can I encourage that?  How can I draw that out of others?  How do I woo the God image out of others?