Justice and The Hallelujah

This was one of those mornings....in a mysteriously spiritual way. The last couple of weeks I have been spending time contemplating justice. What is it? How does it work? If one person receives justice, most likely another will not.

Sunday I was reminded of the many OT verses about justice. I spent time this morning reading them slowly and meditating on them. I got no where. Well, in the sense that I still didn't know what it is but I do know it is important to God. I decided I would try in my feeble and not very good way to draw it. You don't need to see my picture. You would probably laugh. But when I was done with this hugely simplistic drawing I found my self writing, "Justice is freedom to receive the mercy of God". I felt that was at least a start.

I decided to check my email as I was drinking my orange juice. Last night Brad sent me a link to a youtube music video. I opened it just a few minutes ago. K.D. Lang was singing Leonard Cohen's "The Hallelujah". I must say this song always touches my soul. I never quite understood what it all meant but I love the spirit of it.

As I watched K.D. sing it I was enlightened. This blog isn't about the meaning of the song. It is what happened inside me. I have always had this small (maybe not so small) aversion to K.D. As I saw her sing this my judgement of her melted away. It was like in singing it she was completely displaying her heart; the hurts, the short comings, the judgements that had been spoken against her. Now I am not saying she would agree with this. But, this is how the spirit used it for me. I began to weep. I released any judgement I had held of her. I embraced who she is. "Justice is freedom to receive the mercy of God".

K.D. became for me this morning a metaphor for justice. I feel cleansed. Once more God has been kind in opening my heart and my eyes to more of Her bigness and Her mystery.

Please, take time to watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NpxTWbovE

Can A Person Be A Place?

What do I want?

I stop reading this morning to attempt to answer this question. I truly believe the things I want are not a trying to get God’s approval or love. But what is it?
I want to be a person who people are drawn to. Oh, it’s not a popularity thing. I want to be a place; a place where others find themselves. A place that provides freedom to discover and enjoy who they are.
A couple of years ago my spiritual director gave me a piece called “Hollowing”. This was in response to my struggle of describing how I was feeling. I told her I felt empty; not in the sense of hopelessness, but something intentional. Here is a portion of that piece:

Some of you I will hollow out.
I will make you a cave.
I will carve you so deep the stars will shine in your darkness.

You will be a bowl.
You will be the cup in the rock collecting rain.

I will hollow you with knives.
I will not do this to make you clean.
I will not do this to make you pure.
You are clean already.
You are pure already.

I will do this because the world needs the hollowness of you.
I will do this for the space that you will be.
I will do this because you must be large.

A passage.
People will find their way through you.
A bowl.
People will eat from you and their hunger will not weaken them unto death.
A cup.
To catch the sacred rain.

At the moment of reading this I knew that is what I wanted to be. I knew this had been written for me.

This morning I asked myself once more what I wanted and why. Why? For some reason I must make sure inside that I am not wanting this for my own fulfillment although I would be so pleased to be this.

This begs the next question….what if no one wants this? What if the thing that I believe is one of my own deepest desires; the desire for community, isn’t desired by another? What if this yearning is mine alone? Community just seems so important to me right now. This is not some kind of possessive dependence on another but a healthy interdependence. It could be what becomes our saving grace for the future.

So, do I have an answer to my own question? No, but faith says The Holy One has put this desire in me and I now walk in it.

Child Woundedness

So, here's my musing for today.
I have loved getting connected via FB. It has brought many, many people back into my life. There is something restorative about renewing these relationships (cyber though they be). As a reflection of what I have been reading this morning, this is where I have come. Woundedness, given and received, seems to come from the child within us. Our "little-oneness" is easily hurt and that same one can easily hurt, sometimes in an effort to self-protect. In reconnecting with people from my past it is as though I (and I think some of them by their own admission) have been able to recognize the child that was. I can now dismiss the past as acts of a child.
Now, the truth is, I will always have that "little-oneness" as a part of me. My hope is I can recognize it quicker and give it a good talking to before it acts. But, it won't always work. It is part of me and I think part of you.
Somewhere inside me these songs of forgiveness and/or re-established love come bubbling up. I love it. I feel fresh. I feel clean. I feel renewed.
What do you think? Am I way off here? Is this just me (which I'm ok with)?

Worth Reflection

As Brad and I have been discerning what is next in our lives, one thing we have been saying is that we want to plant another church. During his visit with his spiritual director this last week, she said, "As you talk about your desire it seems to me that rather than starting a church you want to gather a people". Oh, that so resonated in us! What will that look like? Who will it be? How will we fit together? I can't wait to see it happen.

God's Invitation

God calls us to the future. Along the way we get distracted by the bright, shiny objects that are only places that God has lightly touched; leaving a fingerprint, a dusting of himself.

Our goal is to keep moving toward the call, the invitation. Yes, we are to observe, even enjoy, these "vapor trails" left behind but not to say they are God.

My heart, our hearts long for the "infinite horizon". These finite impressions will fade.